Can I just say that we LOVE our fire pit. We have had several fires the last couple of months and are a little sad that the season for them is coming to an end. It has been fun to have people over and not have to clean my house. :)
I bet you wish you lived closer so that you could come hang out at our house on a summer evening and roast hotdogs and marshmallows. I wish you lived closer too.
We had a large 60 foot pine tree in our back yard.
I hated it. Really truly despised the thing. Half of it was dead. It was hard to get underneath it to get all the weeds and random trees growing under it. And it was super pokey. Also, it made too much shade, so I had no good place to put in a garden. So my super sweet husband bought a bow saw, and started taking it down.
Orion helped some too.
Cutting down trees is messy!
Philip spent just about every evening up in that tree for about a week.
When most of it was down, we had the young men come over and help cut it into pieces for a young mens activity. We had about 5 chain saws going in the back yard.
We spent a lot of afternoons piling up the wood, and pulling the branches to the front yard for the city wide brush pick up.
It was a lot of work to do it our selves, but I am glad that it is done, and the things we learned in taking it down. Next summer when we take down the two smaller ones, it should be easier.
Instead, I am going to share with you my experience of having a miscarriage. It isn't something that people talk a lot about, and so I didn't really know what to expect. And while I know that every person and every miscarriage is different, maybe this will bring someone somewhere a little bit of comfort.
On Monday July 28th, I found out that I was pregnant. I was super excited! Just 8 days later, I started throwing up. I was only 5 weeks along! I thought morning sickness was supposed to hold off until weeks 7 or 8! I spent 4 weeks crazy nauseous, and throwing up often. My jeans got uncomfortably tight, really early. I figured all these things were good signs.
At about 10 weeks, I stopped throwing up.
At 11 weeks, the nausea went away.
I was a little concerned. I was only 11 weeks. Shouldn't I still be in the throes of morning sickness?
At 12 weeks (Monday September 22) I went in for my fist trimester screen. As soon as I saw the baby on the screen, I knew something was wrong. Why was the baby holding so still? Why was it so little? Where was the little flicker of a heart beat? The ultra-sound tech asked me how far along I was. Asked if I had had any cramping or bleeding. She then told me that the baby was measuring just a little small, so they wanted to do a introvaginal ultra-sound. I went to the bathroom to go change.
Again, as soon as I saw the baby, I just knew. There wasn't a heartbeat. Even when they turned the sound on to listen, it was just silent. Nothing.
My heart broke.
The tech left to go get a doctor. The doctor came back, and looked some more with the ultra-sound. Finally I was told that I had lost the baby. He was only measuring 9 weeks, and no heart beat could be detected.
I was sent to a room to wait for my OB to call, to decide what the next step should be. After about 20 minutes, a nurse came in and told me that my dr would just call my cell phone and that I could go home. I somehow made it out of the building without falling to pieces.
I broke down in the car when I called Phil.
I cried half the way home. (I was an hour away)
For about a minute and a half I was even angry. Why did I have to lose this baby? Why did I have to be so sick if I was just going to lose it? It wasn't fair!!
But then I prayed for comfort, and strength to get through this.
I picked up my boys from Wanda's, and cried on her shoulder.
I went home and just laid on the floor, waiting for the giant hole in my chest to close. It didn't.
Philip came home early from work. About that time my doctor called and asked if we could come in that afternoon. (Again, my dr is almost an hour away.) So, Philip went and pulled Orion and William from school and we took the kids back to Wanda's and went to the appointment. The doctor said that most of the time when you loose the baby between 8 & 10 weeks it is due to a chromosomal mistake in either the sperm or the egg that doesn't allow the baby to continue to develop. She assured me that it wasn't anything I did or didn't do that caused this.
We talked about options. I had two. I could either wait for my body to miscarry the baby, or I could have a D&C. I just wanted this done. Over with. I didn't want to have to think about it anymore. I opted for a D&C. We were told that someone would be in contact with us to schedule the surgery. When we got home, there was a message on the machine saying that I had an appointment for the next day at 4.
I cried myself to sleep that night.
Tuesday morning was ok. I felt a little better. The only time I cried was when my friend Rachel gave me a hug and told me she was sorry. The big gaping hole in my chest was still there. And I was so tired. So so tired. My friend Becci took Oliver and Winston for the morning, and I got some school work done. That afternoon, I picked Orion and William up early from school, again and took all the kids over to Wanda's. Again. I then picked Phil up from work and we went to my appointment. Where we met with a different Dr, who told us that he agreed with the assessment made that the baby was not alive and that I had two options. I again said that I would like to have a D&C.I know this sounds weird, but knowing that something was dead inside of me was starting to creep me out. I no longer felt like there was a baby there, just some alien. I wanted it out. Right then. Instead we scheduled the D&C for Friday afternoon.
Wednesday, was a good day. My friend Jen brought me flowers. I went out to lunch with Wanda. Philip skipped out on Young Mens to come home. I was feeling pretty good. That big gaping hole wasn't as big as it had been. And, I didn't cry once.
Thursday, again was a pretty good day. I only cried when I talked to my sister Rachel on the phone.
Friday afternoon I had my D&C. I kept feeling like I should have felt worse than I did. I really truly felt ok. I was still a little sad about loosing my baby, but I felt like even that was ok. I was feeling at peace.
Now, almost 3 weeks later, the hole in my chest is filled. It is filled with the love of my friends, my family, my children, my husband, and mostly, my Heavenly Father. I am sure that there was a reason I needed to go through this experience. I have no clue what that reason might be, but I know that Heavenly Father loves me and has plan for me that will bring me more joy and happiness than I can imagine. I just have to keep hanging in there and endure to the end.
Soo, we have celebrated a few birthdays since I last posted. Thought I would bring you all up to speed.
I turned 30. I got BOOMWHACKERS for my birthday! I love them! I especially love using them in Primary. I think the kids love them too!
Winston turned 1! I don't know how that happened! A little update on Winston. He was a big baby at birth. And he put on weight at a good pace for the first 4 months. In fact at 4 months he weighed 20 pounds! Unfortunately, that is when he quit gaining weight. Winston was an EXTREMELY fussy baby. He cried ALL the time. We decided that maybe he had reflux. At his 6 month check up, he still weighed 20 pounds. Since he was just starting solids, we were told to try lots of high fat foods. Use cream instead of milk and to put butter in everything he ate. We also switched his medicine.
At 8 months, Winston came down with pneumonia, and refused to eat for 4 days. At that point, I lost my mild supply. At the doctors office, he was weighed again, and was down to 18 pounds. Again, we switched his reflux medicine, and put him on formula. At nine months, he was only 18 pounds 8 ounces. I was thrilled. He'd put on weight!! The doctor however was not pleased with his progress. We switched his medicine again. And were referred to a GI doctor. The GI doctor referred us to the Failure to Thrive specialist at the hospital. We also had to meet with a nutrionist. At that point we had to start a high calorie formula, and had to count calories for 5 days. After a couple of weeks on his new medicine, Winston started being more content. He wasn't ALWAYS screaming. Even other people noticed a difference in his demeanor. Life went on. I had to take him every few weeks for weight checks, and every time I took him in, he met his goal! We just had a weight check on Tuesday. He weighed 24 pounds!!!! We get to give him whole milk now. And we don't have to fortify it with half and half. He is doing really well.
A couple of "Happy" things about Winston. He loves playing peek a boo and patty cake. He absolutely adores his brothers, and loves to do anything outside. He also has no fear. We took the kids to the lake the other day and Winston just crawled right into the water. When it started getting too deep from him to crawl, he would just stick his head in the water, crawl forward and then sit up on his knees to breath. Then go back under to crawl some more! CRAZY KID! (And I know that you think I am a crazy mom for allowing such behavior to take place.)
Anyway, back to June birthdays. William turned 5!! He had kinda a big deal birthday. My mom and dad were in town. He had a couple of friends over. And we did a pinata. (He had been asking to do one for MONTHS!) Some things we love about William: He gives the best hugs.And is always willing to give a hug. He also gives the sweetest little prayers. William is quick to want to please, and always so sad when someone is displeased with him. He is super competitive. Sometimes too much so. I love that boy so much and so glad that he came to our family!!
Ever since junior high, I have had a dream. I wanted to be an actress. (Just like every other little girl.) But I didn't want to be famous and in movies. I wanted to be on a stage. I light up in front of an audience. But lets face it. Real life happened. I got married at 19, and started my family. I haven't had a moments regret. I love my life!
Well, a couple of months ago, I was "friended" by an old friend from junior high. This friend is living the life we always talked about wanting. Acting and performing with a small dinner theater. For just a few moments I was jealous. But then Oliver came running in screaming that a monster was chasing him.
"Quick mom, save me! Here's your sword. No wait mom, that monster is nice! Don't kill him. He is just running from the hot lava.Hurry mom, come get in the space ship. It will take us to the moon, and the lava can't reach us there. Oh no!! There is a meteor!"
After we were finally safe on the couch under Ollies blanket reading stories (with all the voices) it occurred to me that I am living my dream. I get "cast" to be a super hero, scientist, astronaut, baby, fireman, dog catcher, train conductor, and many other roles on a weekly basis. And let me tell you, my children are a much more particular about how I do things than any director I have ever had.
I love being a mom. It is the greatest role ever!!
We closed on Jan. 31. And moved the weekend of Feb. 1. It was cold and snowy. But we got to move into OUR house!
I've been putting off blogging about this and putting up pictures until after I had everything unpacked and beautiful. But I've had some complaints that I haven't posted any thing yet. So just ignore the mess, and imagine my house all decorated and clean. :)
Just a few things we love about our new home:
1. My kitchen is large. :)
2. It is right across the street from the elementary school. Like I can look out my front window and see the front door of the school.
3. It has a good sized deck and back yard. I am super excited to put in some berry bushes this year!
4. It has a two car garage!
There are MANY other things that we love, but instead of listing them all, you will just have to come out to visit and then I can show them to you. :)
So, without further ado, here are some pictures.
Kids/ Main Floor Bathroom
William and Olivers room
Orion and Winstons room
Laundry / Storage room
(If you make the picture big, and look closely, you will see a green electrical box. That marks the corner of our property.)